When we get married, we might think we know everything there is to know about our partner. But sometimes, something random that seems very harmless can make us lose all trust in our partner. That’s what happened to our main character today, a woman who read her husband’s diary and learned some very scary things from it. Now the mom and wife in trouble only have one question: “Should I leave my husband right away?”
Some things were wrong with Angela and her husband before they got married.
A 33-year-old woman named Angela wrote us a letter and told us her story, which made everyone on our team feel a lot of different things. The woman asked us to print her letter because she wanted our readers to know about her problem and to find out what other people think about Angela’s terrible situation.
“I and my husband Andrew have been married for 5 years now,” Angela began her letter. We were dating for three years before we got married, so we’ve known each other for ten years. There was a red flag at the start of our marriage that I wish I hadn’t ignored at the time.
Angela said, “When Andrew asked me to marry him, I thought he would give me a nice engagement ring since he made a lot of money and could afford it.” He used to buy me expensive gifts to spoil me, so it was clear that I was looking forward to something nice on that special day.
Andrew came up with a very cheap ring, though, and when he saw that I looked a little let down, he said, “All material things are just things.” Being buried doesn’t mean you can take anything with you, so I think you should be thankful for how I feel about you instead of what I give you.
Angela wrote, “I’ve never been interested in material things, so that cheap ring didn’t bother me much. I just felt weird about how his behavior had changed so quickly.” After we got engaged, he went from being honest and kind to being cheap and having a strange philosophy that I don’t remember him having before. I didn’t pay attention to this action or what he said about bringing something to the grave. At that time, I was content with what I had.
Up until one day, the couple’s relationship was fine.
Angela continues her story by saying, “During our five-year marriage, Andrew has kept a diary that he updates every so often.” He never hid it, and I have always respected his privacy. When we got into a fight one day, something inside me told me to read it, so I did after he left for work.
The woman was shocked as she read through her husband’s journal. She said, “I felt so shocked and disgusted after reading this diary that I wish I had never even touched it.” Several times, my dear, beloved husband wrote that he hates me. One time, when I was sick, he said he hoped I would die.
Angela said, “We did go through a rough patch not long ago that lasted about two weeks.” We both went through a pretty bad time, but I think we made it through. There were no insults, and I never felt scared around him. We just talked openly and honestly about how we felt.
Andrew’s hateful notes came at the same time as that rough patch. The author of the rest of the journal was calm and honest, like the man I know and love. He thought about work and family, as well as his goals, habits, and other things.
Angela can’t sleep since she told her husband what he really thinks about her.
Angela said, “As soon as I read those words, I packed up our daughter’s things and left right away for a friend’s house, where I’m staying now.” I made copies of every page in his diary. I told him I would be home soon and didn’t need anywhere to calm down after our talk. I made an appointment with my therapist and even called a lawyer.
The woman wrote, “Since I left, my husband has sent me a few nice messages.” He told me that he loves me, that he looks forward to seeing me when I get home, that it’s okay to have little things go wrong, etc.
The woman doesn’t know what to do now, though. “I was sure our relationship was over the moment I read that he hates me,” she wrote. Even the fact that I felt the need to invade his privacy showed that our relationship is no longer healthy. All of his nice messages and the rest of the diary entries are making me think twice.
Angela no longer feels safe with her husband.
Angela broke down and said, “I understand that my husband needed to let off steam when things were really bad between us.” I think that writing in a private diary is a good way to do that and let your feelings out.
But I have never, ever thought about killing my husband, not even in our darkest times. What he wrote makes me feel so bad. I could have thought about anything, even breaking up. It’s impossible for me to ever feel safe around my husband again.
And Angela said, “Now I can’t stop wondering if this was just healthy venting and I’m overreacting.” It’s crazy how many people have felt the same way about their spouse. Is this man someone I need to keep myself and my baby safe from?
It was because he liked another woman, which is another thing I’d like to talk about. Even though Andrew didn’t cheat on me, being friends with her made me feel bad. He wrote the part of the diary where he said “I hate you” as a love letter to her. I told him I was making him think about dying and being replaced.
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