My husband decided to penalize me because I can’t breastfeed our newborn.
Couples who are married often have misunderstandings, especially when it comes to how to raise a baby. It’s important to treat everyone with empathy and respect, no matter what the disagreement is. If not, things could get worse, making the couple’s already difficult new life even more complicated. Recently, a woman felt helpless and overwhelmed because her husband punished her for things she couldn’t change instead of helping her with the baby. In order to get help, she wrote a touching letter online.
“Hi,
We got married about a year ago. I became pregnant very quickly and had a boy about four weeks ago. Even though the birth went well, there was one problem: my baby had trouble breastfeeding. It hurt and worried me because it looked like he wasn’t getting enough milk, which made him hungry, cry after nursing, and have a lot of trouble sleeping.
After trying everything, I went to see my doctor, who told me to switch to formula. He told me I had done my best and stressed how important it was to make sure our baby got enough food and didn’t wake up a lot at night.
Despite the fact that our baby seemed “picky” and I was “lacking sleep,” my husband insisted that we should not switch because I was breastfeeding and he thought it was healthier.
Then, two days ago, my baby refused to eat again while my husband was out with his friends. I felt like I couldn’t do anything, so I had to call the pediatrician again for help. As he suggested, I had formula sent to my house and started feeding the baby right away from a bottle. It made a huge difference—my baby slept better, which made both of us feel better.
He doesn’t have to worry about getting up early for work because he is still on parental leave. I begged him to take care of bottle-feeding that night so I could finally get some sleep yesterday because I was sick. He said, “Since you stopped producing milk like a normal woman and switched to formula without my consent, then now handle night feedings just as you did when you breastfed.”
His words hurt, but what really shocked me was when he added, “By the way, since you chose to buy formula, which is a waste of money and an extra cost we could do without, it’s your responsibility to pay for any other baby costs from now on.” Now take responsibility for what you did without thinking.”
His comments about money and hints that I was a woman hurt me a lot. I are alone and don’t know what to do. We need to share the responsibility, especially since he’s on parental leave and makes more money. I’m not sure what to do next and would appreciate any help you can give.
Sincerely,
Jessica”
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