A 35-year-old woman wrote a letter informing us of a family dispute she is no longer able to handle on her own. She disclosed that she had made the decision to keep her husband and her FIL out of the delivery room due to their disrespectful and eerie behavior throughout the majority of her pregnancy. The woman applied to us for advice regarding her extremely complex family situation, and she is now even thinking about getting a divorce.
Her husband was the reason behind the woman’s seeming desperation.
The 35-year-old Anna shared her experience with us and asked for our advice. “My husband and I are expecting our first child,” she began her letter. I anticipated that my spouse would find this to be a very delicate matter from the outset. He was traumatized for the rest of his life by the death of his own mother during childbirth.
Anna clarified that they made an effort to collaborate on it. “When this issue was brought up between us, we sought the help of a marriage counselor to work things out,” she stated. In addition, my husband claims that he saw his own therapist twice a month while I was pregnant. I wouldn’t say he’s lying, but I’m fairly certain he either skips therapy or stays silent about the important topic.
The woman disclosed the main issue she had since getting pregnant. “My spouse and his father, who is very involved in our lives, are absolutely convinced that I will die in childbirth,” the writer stated. Although they have never acknowledged it outright, their actions have gotten to the point where I feel anxious and extremely uneasy.
Over time, the issue is growing even more serious.
“My spouse once advised me to make sure my life insurance is current,” wrote Anna. Additionally, he frequently says that he wants me to meet with a lawyer and write a will.
The woman was taken aback by this behavior and thought it was quite intense, but she still consented to everything in order to comfort her husband.
However, stranger things were happening even more. «My husband once insisted that I go through everything I own and make a list of what I want to save for the baby and what I would want returned to my family in the event of my death,» Anna disclosed.
For Anna, this was the final straw, and she was beyond frustrated. “I then put my foot down and said no,” the woman claims. It seemed too macabre for me. I took the blame for it from my FIL, who comes to visit us 2-4 times a week and lives a few blocks away. He claimed that I was making things “tough” for my partner in the event that he becomes a bereaved widower and has a child.
“I probably need to explain that my pregnancy is going great and isn’t causing any complications,” continues Anna. In the upcoming weeks, none of us has any reason to believe that I will pass away in the delivery room.
Right now, the woman has serious doubts about her husband.
“I feel like my father-in-law has already decided I will 100% die,” wrote Anna, “but when I spoke to my husband about all of this nonsense happening around my pregnancy, he just called me paranoid.”
Anna clarified that her father-in-law is truly fixated on this unsettling idea. “The man’s whole life for the past 40 years has been “cool single dad,” the author wrote. He didn’t date, have close friends, or even engage in meaningful hobbies. It appears that my FIL is only momentarily anticipating helping my husband navigate what he went through.
“I have one wish at this time,” Anna disclosed. My FIL and my husband should never again be in the delivery room, in my opinion. I want to never see them together. In addition, my marriage and I are currently going through a really difficult period, and I’m thinking of removing my spouse from my life completely as well as from delivery rooms. I don’t think anything will genuinely change.
Even now, the woman is unable to consider her future clearly.
Anna opened up about how awful she feels about the situation. Her world seems to be collapsing right now, and all she wanted for her family was the best.
“My husband is supporting his dad on everything,” the woman uttered. He acts as though my due date is also my death date, which irritates me. Not only that, but he’s completely distanced himself from me. Every minute I spend with him is gloomy, taxing, and serves as a constant reminder that our marriage is failing. I repeatedly told him that his actions stress me out and that I don’t want to experience that while I’m focusing on giving birth.
Do you think I owe it to my husband to let him upset me during delivery? Anna asked us. I don’t think a safe and healthy labor is more important than his presence in the delivery room. Since everything has been so strange, I feel like I could use some outside counsel.
We would suggest that Anna focus solely on giving birth.
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