My husband and I have been together for almost seven years. We shared everything—our home, our bills, and our income. I’ve always been the responsible one with money, while he tends to spend more freely. At first, it didn’t bother me. We both had steady jobs, and we lived comfortably.
One issue that always lingered in the background was his family. They had a habit of “borrowing” money, but in all the years I’ve known them, I can count on one hand how many times they actually paid it back. Personally, it didn’t bother me at first, because you know family, especially a retired one. They sometimes need our help. A few years ago, my husband’s health started declining, and they had to fire him because of lots of day offs and absence. It wasn’t sudden—his condition worsened over time, and eventually, he simply couldn’t work anymore. While we waited for his disability benefits to be approved, I became the sole provider. We drained our savings just trying to keep up with bills, and despite my best efforts, we slipped further into debt.
By the time his disability benefits finally came through, we were struggling financially. When he received his back pay, I asked for just two things: pay off a loan in his name that I had been covering for years and put some money into savings for emergencies.
He did neither. Instead, he blew through it—giving over half of the money to his family while doing nothing to help our situation. Despite everything, I continued saving little by little, hoping to start paying off some of our debt. He knew this. And yet, a few weeks ago, I noticed nearly $500 missing from our savings.
When I confronted him, he admitted he had loaned it to his parents. That money wasn’t extra—it was already earmarked for bills. I was furious. We had a massive argument, and I made it clear that I was done with his family draining our finances.
Yesterday, I checked our account again. Another $800—gone. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I offered to get a divorce. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “If that’s what it takes to keep my parents happy, then so be it.” I was beyond angry. I went straight to the bank, withdrew every cent I had put into that account, and opened a new one in my name—one he has no access to.
Now, he’s acting like I’m the bad guy. He says I should want to help his parents, that it’s family, and that they’d do the same for us if the roles were reversed. But I refuse to keep sacrificing my hard-earned money for their financial irresponsibility.
So, am I wrong for finally taking control of my own finances? Because at this point, I feel like it was the only choice I had left.
