I believed my husband was unfaithful, but the truth was far worse.
When trust breaks down in a marriage, it can have big effects on the couple’s emotions and mental health. It can lead to feelings of betrayal, pain, doubt, and even fear. A married woman recently found herself in a tough spot when she saw her husband acting suspiciously. So she looked into it more and learned something she never thought possible. She went online to get help and advice because she was so shocked and lost.
You can read her letter here:
I’ve been married to Gary for two years, and we have a beautiful daughter named Amy who is one year old. We all went out to dinner together yesterday with Gary’s best friend Bob and Bob’s wife. At one point, Gary told everyone he had to go to the bathroom. Because he was taking longer than usual, I went to check on him. I saw a tall blonde woman hand him a note, which he quickly hid in his jacket as I got closer. When he came back to the table, I quietly got the paper and read it under the table. The message said, “Thank you for yesterday:)”
When I saw that note, I couldn’t hold back my anger, so I read it out loud to him at the dinner table in front of everyone. “Don’t worry, it’s just a joke Bob played on me,” Gary replied right away. Bob added his voice to help his friend. I could tell it wasn’t a joke, even though they tried to play it off as a joke. Because I didn’t want to make things worse, I pretended to believe what they said.
I looked through his laptop for signs of cheating while he slept at home. I was shocked to find that he had saved all of his passwords. Wanting to know more, I dug deeper. No matter! What I found was much scarier than an affair. There were pictures of a little boy and different papers about him in his files. This discovery caught me by surprise because Gary had never told me about this child. I felt totally lost and even scared all night and couldn’t sleep.
I chose to tell Gary what I found out this morning. He stopped talking and looked down, feeling bad about failing. He finally spoke up: “There’s something you should know about me.” Thanks for understanding. I love you a lot.
Then he went on to say, “In the first month after we got married, I found out that the woman I dated during our two-month break was pregnant with my child.” I felt awkward telling you the news. Fearing losing you, I thought I’d keep it from you to protect your feelings.
I swear I haven’t talked to his mother in a long time; I’m just paying for my son’s things from afar. I don’t want to lie to you anymore, so that blonde woman from yesterday is my child’s nanny. When she asked for a raise, I agreed to give it to her. She sent me that note to thank me because she and her husband were at the restaurant yesterday.
Finding out this news broke my heart. I thought my husband was my closest friend and confidant, but he kept a big secret from me. He probably told his friend Bob about it instead. I’m not sure if I can trust him again.
Something is bothering me now that he’s gone to work. Is it a good idea for me to take my daughter and stay with my parents temporarily? Or should I accept his sincere apologies and try to move on as if nothing happened?
Sincerely,
Maggie”
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