Adam, 42, wrote us a letter and told us his story, which must have been very hard for him. Right now, the man is having a fight with his oldest daughter over the wedding dress she wants to wear. He is still sad about the death of his beloved wife. The man’s late wife owned the dress, and he has a very good reason for not wanting his daughter to wear it to her own wedding. But now his whole family doesn’t like him because he made the right choice.
Adam’s wife died suddenly, and he is still sad about it.
In the first line of his letter, Adam wrote, “My late wife Emily was my high school sweetheart.” We got married after being together for a long time. The best day of my life has always been and will always be our wedding day. I remember crying when I saw Emily for the first time in her wedding dress because it was so beautiful.
Michael said, “Emily died a year ago.” She died quickly; she just fell to the ground in the street and passed away right away. The ambulance could only confirm that she was dead. Her death felt like the end of my life to me. I am still in the early stages of grief, and I still don’t fully understand that Emily is gone for good.
The man wrote, “We have three daughters. Our oldest, Gerry, just got engaged.” She is going to be married soon, which should be a happy event in our family, but it has turned into the start of a never-ending fight between me and her.
Amy, Adam’s daughter, wants to wear her mom’s dress to her own wedding.
“Recently, Gerry came up to me and told me she wants to wear Emily’s wedding dress to her own,” Adam continues his story. I told her right away that it wasn’t a good idea. I don’t want anyone, not even my own daughter, to touch this dress. But there’s another reason I’m so good at keeping my late wife’s clothes safe.
Adam said, “The wedding dress my late wife wore has a special story behind it.” Em had made it by hand all by herself. No one, not even her grandmother, who she loved very much, would help her finish it. It took her two months.
The man talked about why his late wife insisted on making her own wedding dress. He wrote, “Emily got pregnant while we were still dating.” We were both happy to hear this because, even though we were young and had a lot of life ahead of us, none of us saw kids as a problem. It made us feel like we were on cloud nine.
We told our parents the news, and they were absolutely thrilled for us. They promised to help us with the baby, and we were sure we’d have a great life together as husband and wife. We even chose a name for the baby: Emily, after her mother. Emily then had a terrible accident: her daughter died in the hospital two hours after she was born.
The wedding dress was important to Adam and his late wife.
Adam goes on, “Emily insisted that we honor the memory of our baby, so she asked the medical staff to make a clay footprint of our daughter’s foot for us.” After being put in a small bag, this piece of clay with a footprint was sewn into Emily’s wedding dress. Emily insisted that this was important for her at the time, and it was the right way to remember our baby daughter.
Adam said, “We had told our daughters not to know about this, so they didn’t know.” When Gerry and I talked about the dress again, I told her she couldn’t even touch it, let alone wear it to her wedding. For her, I just told her that she can’t wear the dress because her mom wouldn’t let her. Gerry got very angry right away. She called me names and said I was a bad dad and that I was controlling my wife’s stuff.
Adam told his daughter she should wear something else instead. “I told her no again, and then I said I don’t mind, and she can wear some of her mom’s jewelry,” the man wrote. You told her not to wear that dress, but she wouldn’t listen. She even blamed me for ruining her wedding.
“I tried to talk to her a million times, giving her different options instead of that crazy idea about wearing Emily’s dress,” the man admitted. I offered to pay for her wedding and said I would buy her an expensive designer dress. I even planned to give her some nice jewelry as a gift on her special day. She works hard to make things worse between us and between me and the rest of our family, but she won’t even talk to me about these choices.
A lot of people judge Adam for what he did, and his family turned him down.
In the next part of his letter, Adam says, “Now, all of my daughters are against me because they stand with their sister.” People I love are looking down on me. They tell me the dress is just fabric and that I have nothing to fight about with my daughter. They are insisting that I stop telling my daughter she can’t wear her mom’s dress because it will be a tribute to her.
But Adam’s point of view is strong. “Emily would never let anyone touch her wedding dress,” the man says. I feel like I shouldn’t even have to tell Gerry why I keep telling her she can’t wear it. My daughter shouldn’t know about this painful memory, she needs to follow my wishes. I have no idea what to do now because I’m supposed to make a choice I can’t make, and if I keep trying, my daughter will stop trusting me. What do I do?”
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