Money can help the family in many ways, but it can also cause fights between spouses. The main character today is a 33-year-old woman. She told us a story about how a large amount of money has made her want to divorce her husband. The woman is in a lot of pain because she immediately told everyone what kind of person her beloved husband is, which she doesn’t like.
Helen, who is 33 years old, recently wrote a letter in which she told her story. This letter had very bad effects on her happy family life. At the beginning of her letter, the woman said, “My husband Jake and I have been happily married for over 5 years now.” We’re not getting married for the first time. I went through a hard divorce once, and Jake’s ex-wife died of cancer three years ago.
I love Jake and have since the first time I met him. Our family life has been good. I really thought that he loved me just the way I was. But recent things that happened in our family broke my faith very much.
Helen said, “Ian, my ex-husband, is a successful businessman.” Besides making a good living, he owns a big law firm and is doing very well in his career. Ian cheated on me with a friend of mine, which is why we split up. It was especially hard for him to feel bad about cheating on me because we were both going through a hard time at the time. I had a stillbirth, and we were both emotionally and physically exhausted.
Helen added, “Because he felt guilty, Ian started sending me a large amount of money. On top of that, he insisted on helping me financially after we got divorced, so every month on a certain day, he gave me a sum that would cover all my living expenses, and I would still have some money left over after paying for everything I needed.”
Helen admitted that she didn’t spend her money well.
“With that much money that Ian gave me, I could easily spend time not working at all, just traveling or doing other fun things,” the woman says next in her story. I didn’t want to live that kind of life, though, and I do have a job at a big company that pays well. I told my husband Jack only about the money I made from my job, and I didn’t tell him that I was getting help from my ex.
Helen said, “I’ve always bought my husband nice things and other things with money.” I got him a new car, some nice watches to add to his collection, and a lot of other things. There was no direct question from him about this. Everything I did was my choice, and I did it because I loved him.
My in-laws, his parents, and even his cousins got expensive gifts from me because I was nice to them. Every time we went to see them, I always had a bunch of nice surprises for them. I paid for Jack’s sister to go to school, and I often helped his brother pay his rent. I thought that would be gratefully accepted, but I was so wrong.
Helen told her husband her secret, and things have been different since then.
The woman wrote, “Once, Jake came to me and complained that his mom needed expensive medical care right away.” He asked me for help because his parents didn’t have that much money. At this point, I told him that my ex had helped me out and that I had enough money to pay for his mom’s treatment. I wanted to help because I knew how much pain they were in. It was only out of kindness that I did what I did, but the cost was too high in the end.
Helen said, “Jake changed right away when he found out how much money I really have.” He became very strange about it, and his behavior was terrible. He’s called my money “our money” many times and told me I had to use “our money” to buy him the fancy car he’s always wanted.
He also insisted that we move into a new house together. For his birthday, he told me I should pay for him to go on a trip around the world instead of getting him a small gift. He would like to take a trip with his whole family and asked me to pay for it because “that would be a really nice and decent gift that will show how much you love me and my parents.”
The woman also said, “After all of his demands, I finally decided I’d talk to him.” I told him straight out that it was basically rude for him to find out I had the money and start making demands. I told Jake that I don’t mind using my money for our relationship, but he shouldn’t think that I’ll automatically pay for everything he wants to buy and everything his whole family needs.
Jake looked very sorry for what he did and agreed that it was a terrible thing to do. He got too excited and lost control. I told him I understood, but that was a very rude thing to do to me and the time we’ve spent together, because it made me feel like his behavior was all about making money.
Things are getting worse, and the family is going down.
Helen wrote, “For a short time, it looked like everything was fine between us. Jake stopped demanding money and never brought it up again.” He then said, “Well, you don’t even want to use what you have for us, so maybe you’ve never really cared about me.” This happened after a small argument that turned into a bigger temper tantrum. Following that, he became very quiet, as if he knew what he said was wrong, and we didn’t talk for three days. I was very angry, and I planned to talk to him about it.
The woman also said, “However, this was already the end of the relationship.” However, Jake went too far when he told many people we talk to about my money, even though I told him to keep it quiet. He was telling them I was very wealthy and could buy a lot of things. I learned about that by accident, and that was the last straw.
“I told him to leave the next day,” the woman said. Jake has, of course, been calling me, texting me, and even stopping by without permission. I need help badly and feel torn.
On the one hand, I still love him and want to make things work with him. On the other hand, I can’t ignore the fact that he told other people about my money, even though I told him not to. I put so much faith in him. Yes, I’ve ended a five-year marriage and will probably lose a few friends too.
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