After having a child, our whole world can change. Parents often say that they love their kids very much and that they didn’t think their lives could be this good before they had kids. But having a child can change the way two parents feel about each other, for better or worse.

A man recently wrote a letter in which he talked about how having a child caused his marriage to end. Here is his whole story, along with all the things he now feels bad about.

Adam, who is 38 years old, just sent a letter in which he told the truth about his sad family story and how he feels about the situation.

Adam wrote that he knew he was wrong now, but before he was like someone who can’t see. “I’m not looking for pity or understanding from you and your readers,” the man said at the beginning of his letter. I’m pretty sure I don’t get it. I chose to tell my story, though, so that other men in the same situation might think twice before acting the way I did.

Adam wrote, “My 15-month-old son and I have an ex-wife named Joleen.” We worked very hard to get pregnant, and my wife Joleen had to go through a lot of medical care before this was even possible. When I finally found out she was pregnant, I was over the moon, and she was too. I told her over and over that she would be a great mom. But after our son was born, things between us changed a lot.

Things were getting very tense between the spouses.

In the next part of his story, Adam said that even though they had been waiting a long time for a son and really wanted one, things went badly from the start of being parents.

“After our baby was born, our marriage fell apart,” the man said. My friend Joleen always said I wasn’t doing enough to help with the kids and chores. On the other hand, she always thought I knew what to do, even when she didn’t tell me or show me. I had to guess a lot of the time, and it was so annoying.

Adam admitted, “Things were really bad between us.” There were a lot of fights and arguments over small things, which was wearying for both of us. I told Joleen that her life would be harder without me in the end.

Adam told her that she didn’t even expect his wife to be so calm after he said those words. He said, “Joleen became very quiet and made it clear that she was done arguing and would not put up with it any longer.” It broke up our relationship, and we soon both asked for a divorce.

The spouses are now living their own lives, but Adam is still unhappy with them.

“We’re living apart now; each of us got a new apartment,” Adam wrote. What about our son? Our law says that we each have an equal amount of custody over him. This is thought to happen automatically until one parent shows that the other parent neglected the child. Because we don’t have that problem, both of our lawyers told us to split our time and do alternating weeks after we got divorced, and we did that.

Adam then said, “I knew it wasn’t easy to be a single parent, but I didn’t fully understand how hard it was until now.” I have trouble getting things done the weeks I have my son. I need to be honest and say I barely function. I’m completely worn out. While my son is with someone else, I need to catch up on things I missed while I was taking care of him. There are so many things that need to be done that I can’t even keep up with my apartment.

Adam said, “I did think that since I was having a hard time, so would my wife, and that we might even be able to get back together because of it.” I was hoping that we could work on things together. She doesn’t want to, though. “She says her life is better without me now,”

Adam’s ex-wife looks like she’s having a great time without him now.

Adam said, “Joleen told me that she’s the exact opposite of me and that, unlike me, she can pretty much get things done on time and in order.” She says she’s not even tired anymore, and she knows that taking care of just one person instead of two has made her life so much better.

Adam said, “I knew I was bad, and I should have been a better husband.” I can’t even ask for less time with my son because I can’t pay the child support right now. We each have the same amount of work and money, so neither of us has any right now. My lawyer says that if we don’t stick to this equal split, the person who has less time will get child support.
I’m mad about everything right now, and I feel bad about the choices I made in the past. What I said to Joleen was completely wrong. I’m the only one having a bad time right now, and it makes me so sad.

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