We’re sometimes torn between our feelings and our smart thoughts when we have to make a hard choice in life. One time, Tracy, a young woman, had to choose whether to pay for her youngest sister’s medical care as her mother asked. Tracy said no because she wants to save money for the future. But what her mom said made her cry. Tracy wrote to us online to ask for help.

This is the letter from Tracy:

“My mom had me when I was 16 and raised me and my four younger siblings by herself. I left home when I was 18 and worked hard to get a good job that paid well. Now I’m 27 years old. My sister, who is 12 years old, was just told she has an auto-immune disease and is very sick. Mom now wants me to pay for her pricey treatments.

I said no because living in the city costs a lot and I need to save money for the future too. But mom said, “I’m ashamed of you!” When they need each other, family doesn’t let go of each other this easily.
This is what she said: “As the oldest child, you have responsibilities to your siblings.” You have to give them your all, just like I gave my whole life to raising you.

The things my mom said hurt me, but I can’t just give up my future to “save” my family. I need to take care of myself first.

Am I making sense or am I being too selfish?

Thank you, Tracy”