When trust is shattered within a marriage, it can trigger profound emotional and psychological consequences, sometimes escalating to violent reactions. Recently, a married woman learned she had been deceived for an extended period. Instead of reacting impulsively, she devised a long-term plan for revenge. However, feelings of guilt prompted her to reach out online, questioning whether she should go through with her plan.
Here’s what she said:
“Hi,
David and I have been married for almost five years, but we don’t have any kids yet. Almost a year ago, I saw my husband talking to another woman on our shared tablet, which was connected to his phone. After looking into it more, I found out that he had been seeing his ex-girlfriend during our four-year marriage.
I found out after the fact that my husband had chosen me. He was in love with his high school girlfriend, but his parents were very against it. Even though they didn’t want him to, he stayed with her all through college. In the end, his parents told him they would stop giving him money if he kept seeing the girl. Soon after, we met. I fell in love with him, but it looks like he never felt the same way about me.
We also had a prenuptial agreement that his parents made us sign. Since I was committed to our marriage, I didn’t say anything. In short, I wouldn’t get anything if we got a divorce in the first five years of our marriage. We would each get an equal share of the assets after 5 years, as long as I wasn’t the reason for the divorce.
When I learned about this betrayal, I was horrified and devastated. I was very angry, but I chose to stay calm and remember the old saying, “revenge is best served cold.” I told myself I could handle another year of his cheating, especially since I had already put up with it for 4 years without realizing it. I made a plan to get back at them for a year.
During this time, I carefully gathered proof. To make sure he couldn’t deny what he did if asked, whether it was in front of his parents or a judge, I took screenshots of their messages and saved all the proof. Along those lines, I’ve also rented a safe apartment for myself in the meantime. For eleven months now, I’ve pretended that nothing was wrong and that I didn’t know anything. It’s been hard for me.
Now that our fifth wedding anniversary is coming up, I’ve told my lawyer to put together the necessary paperwork, which will include proof that the prenup has expired and that our assets were supposed to be split. It will be a surprise for him when I send the divorce papers the day after our anniversary.
I am determined to make sure I have a stable financial future. For the same reason, I know that telling him what I found out would be pointless because I will never be able to forgive him, no matter what he says. Still, I have a small amount of guilt: I don’t want to tell him everything I found out a year ago, but I also don’t want to wait another month to follow through with my original plan.
We would really appreciate your advice.
Sincerely,
Pamela.”
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