My mother-in-law has returned after 25 years and requests to be treated as a grandmother.
It’s likely that our grandmothers are the nicest and most caring people in our lives. A lot of people joke that a loving grandmother can spoil a child more than anyone else. The hero of today’s story, on the other hand, is a single dad whose daughter has never seen her mom or grandmother. Finally, the man’s mother-in-law showed up. She says she has the right to see her granddaughter and wants to be treated like a real grandmother.
Nick, a 46-year-old man, wrote us an online letter in which he told us about his difficult family situation. The bad things that happened to him and his daughter because of it began a long time ago.
Nick wrote that he is a dad by himself. He raised his smart and pretty daughter by himself. The man told them that his ex-wife suddenly decided she doesn’t want any more children when their daughter was only three days old.
“My wife Laura said she wasn’t ready to have a child,” he wrote. What really shocked me was that she wouldn’t even feed or hold her. I chose to wait for her. We would get through it together, I thought right up until the very end. Maybe it was just postpartum depression or something.
Even though I was ready to help her, it turned out that she was serious. She got her things together and left the hospital. The last thing my wife said to me was that she would never see me or our daughter again. Since then I haven’t seen her again.
The man really thinks that his MIL was the cause of all this bad stuff.
Nick goes on to say that he is sure his mother-in-law had something to do with what happened. He said, “While my wife was pregnant, she was always talking about how young her daughter was and how wrong it was for Laura to have a baby at this time.” It’s not a sure thing because I don’t have proof, but I really think that MIL convinced her to leave her newborn daughter for some reason.
Nick was then left by himself with a little child. The man said it was true: his life wasn’t easy at that moment. For his little daughter Violet, he had to drop out of college and start working very hard right away. He was only 21 years old.
But there are good people in the world, and some did help Nick. He tells her, “I’m glad I wasn’t by myself.” Friends who watched Violet while I worked and gave me advice on how to take care of an infant were some of the people who helped me get through the hardest time, and I’ll always be grateful to them. It got a lot easier after my little girl grew up a bit.
Violet wasn’t liked by either her mother-in-law or the man’s ex-wife.
The man goes on to say that he was finally able to send his daughter to kindergarten. He then went to work without asking anyone to watch her while he was gone.
The man really hoped to hear from Violet’s mother during this whole time. He thought that she would eventually change her mind and understand that leaving her child like nothing was the worst thing she had ever done. But the man’s hopes were for nothing.
Nick wrote, “Even though I gave her my phone number and email address so she could easily call me, write me a letter, or message me, she didn’t.” Lisa never got back to me. She had never used her right to see her daughter either. Violet often asked me as a child why her mother had left her and didn’t want her. I really didn’t know what to say because I always tried very hard not to say bad things about her mom in front of her.
Nick also said that his mother-in-law never showed up and never asked if he needed help with the baby. She never asked him what her granddaughter’s name was, how her health was, or how she was growing and changing. Violet knew as a child that her grandmother lived a long way away and that Violet couldn’t go see her.
One day, the story took a strange turn.
Nick wrote in his letter that his daughter is now 25 years old, a beautiful woman who works hard and goes to school. The proud dad said he was also proud of himself for making her such a good person.
According to what the man wrote, “We stopped talking about her mom a long time ago. Violet made the decision; she thought, if she doesn’t want me and doesn’t want to be with us, then it’s her big loss and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
But recently, the “relatives from nowhere” decided to let them know they were still alive. One day, the man’s mother-in-law showed up at their door. He didn’t get a call or any other kind of message from her. I just saw her. She came to see her granddaughter, whose name she didn’t know.
Nick wrote, “I saw and heard things I couldn’t believe.” I didn’t even recognize her at first because it had been so long. And MIL acted like she always does: a loving grandmother who came from a faraway country to see her grandchild. It’s not like she was gone for 25 years.”
Violet also didn’t make her grandmother feel welcome.
Of course, Violet didn’t know her grandmother when she saw her. Nick told her that he had shown her pictures of her mom and grandma in case they ever came, but he didn’t really think they would.
“MIL ran up to Violet and tried to hug her, just like a caring grandmother would,” the man wrote. She asked her how she was doing and said how pretty and big she had grown. Violet pushed her away, and the girl looked very lost. When I told her that her grandmother had just shown up to visit her, she said, “Oh,” and then she walked away.
What they did made the grandmother very angry. “What did you tell her about us if she doesn’t even greet her grandmother?” she asked Nick. She talks to me like I’m not there! “Why didn’t you show her pictures of her mommy and me or tell her about us?”
Nick says, “Well, you’re not really known to either of us, dear MIL.” What’s so strange about you? Violet has never met you in person. You just show up out of nowhere 25 years later, when she’s an adult, and expect her to love you. Violet also told her grandmother, “Dad showed me your picture, but I didn’t need a picture; I needed you to be there for me.”
Nick said that his daughter was also asking her grandmother questions, and those answers from MIL were very closed-minded. From the looks of things, she wasn’t ready for her granddaughter to ask any questions. MIL told Violet that her mother was doing well, married to a great man, and has three wonderful children. Violet asked where her mother was.
MIL didn’t get what she wanted.
Nick told MIL that she was acting like his ex-wife was the one who was wronged. Like they were the ones who left her.
“Well, she was such a young lady, it would be crazy for her to have a baby at that age!” Violet asked her MIL why her mom had left her. Life was still ahead of her, and having a child would get in the way. She didn’t want to give up her freedom, so you should get it!”
Violet then told her to leave and never come back. She said she would never see her again and would not help her with anything. As she was leaving, she yelled at Nick, “That’s what I thought, a man can’t raise a good person by himself!” That woman was so rude and unpleasant; she would have been better off in an orphanage than with you!”
Nick meant what he said, and he never said anything bad about his ex-wife or his mother-in-law in front of his daughter. She was raised with love and care, but her dad was the only person in her life.
It makes sense that she loves her dad and doesn’t treat her grandmother like a relative when she really doesn’t know her, since she doesn’t know her.
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