Kathleen, a woman, wrote to share her family history with us. She started her letter by stating that, despite the fact that her husband doesn’t usually frighten people away, she is afraid of him.
In terms of age, Kathleen is 37 and her spouse is 40. They have been blissfully wed for more than 15 years. The couple has two children, a Labrador dog, and a large, comfortable home of their own. Kathleen used to believe that their family photo was perfect and representative of all happy families, until recently.
The family finally moved into their new house two weeks ago. Kathleen wrote that she had been busy unpacking some of the smaller items that day. She discovered a box that was her husband’s. In an attempt to make sure nothing was missing, the woman opened the box.
Kathleen discovered some old pictures there. These pictures were all taken when she was twenty years old. “It included pictures of me studying in college, working out at the gym, and hanging out with my friends,” the writer wrote. Kathleen’s discovery may have seemed innocuous and unworthy of any special attention, but one small detail alarmed the woman.
When Kathleen saw the pictures, she wrote that she was embarrassed.
The woman continues in her letter, stating that she was truly terrified and inconsolable after discovering a number of old pictures. She explains, “All of these pictures were taken when I was twenty years old, but the thing that really scared me the most was that I met my husband when I was celebrating my twenty-third birthday.” Before an unintentional encounter during my birthday celebration, neither of us had ever met.
Kathleen clarified that the images weren’t just from the time she didn’t even know her future husband existed; they were also taken in the locations she frequently visited. However, she couldn’t remember anyone from her family taking these kinds of pictures at the time, nor did she have any in her own family album.
The woman was trying to gather her thoughts and figure out what all of this actually meant, so all of these really made her panic.
Subsequent discoveries left the woman even more shocked.
Kathleen found more unsettling items as she continued to examine the same box. Her husband maintained a record of the stores, gyms, and beauty parlors she used to frequent. He was privy to all of Kathleen’s friends’ personal information. He was even acquainted with every man his wife had dated in the past.
Kathleen also discovered her husband’s private journal. She later learned that he had arranged their initial encounter. He showed up in the same location where Kathleen celebrated her 23rd birthday, and he was certain she would be there because he had seen her there frequently.
The woman had an epiphany about why her spouse was always perfectly aware of her preferences. He looked like a creep who was snooping on her, but she used to justify this by saying that they were soulmates.
Kathleen strangely confessed that she had never truly felt in his control. She couldn’t claim that her husband was controlling because he always showered her with love and care. Being with her husband made Kathleen feel like the luckiest woman in the world because he was so devoted, kind, and loving.
The woman feels like leaving her creepy husband right now.
It took Kathleen a month to be able to finally talk to her husband about everything because she was so shocked by what she had discovered. One evening, she sat down with him and revealed everything to him, along with her research findings. She wanted nothing more from him than for him to be honest with her.
Remarkably, her husband made no denials. He disclosed that he had fallen in love with Kathleen the moment he saw her at her gym. Thus, he trailed her everywhere. Back then, her husband would frequently sit outside Kathleen’s home to watch where she would go. Subsequently, he noticed the disco that Kathleen frequently visited with her companions, and he coincidentally showed up there for her birthday celebration.
Kathleen acknowledged that she was experiencing nausea at that precise moment. She sobbed, frantic with rage and terror. Her spouse made an effort to console her and asked for her forgiveness. Although he acknowledged that what he had done was wrong, his love for her was unadulterated.
Although Kathleen is now in favor of a divorce, she also thought about having both of them attend therapy to determine where they stand. She is now seriously doubting her marriage and is unable to shake the sensation that her husband has been in charge of her life for the entirety of it without her knowledge. However, she also acknowledged that he was the greatest partner she had ever had. He’s always been a devoted father and the ideal husband.
Kathleen should not rush into a divorce, we would counsel.
Kathleen has our sincere gratitude for sharing her story with us and for her trust. We would counsel the woman to consider her options and not view a divorce as her only option. In addition, we believe that her husband went too far in spying on her and that he shouldn’t have taken so many pictures without her permission.
On the other hand, he never took advantage of his knowledge about her to harm the woman. Since Kathleen acknowledged that he has always been the greatest father and husband, we would counsel her to think about getting counseling and having some more conversations with her husband before attempting to end their marriage.
She and him might come to a sort of agreement in the future where they don’t bother each other’s personal space. We would genuinely suggest to the woman to let the past stay in the past.
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