I called off our engagement because my fiancé is a mama’s boy at heart.
Relationships between members of the extended family, especially with in-laws, can often become very heated. Many people get into serious arguments with their partner’s parents, which causes a host of problems within the family. After her future mother-in-law made multiple attempts to step in and interfere in her relationship with her fiancé, the woman decided to look for guidance online. When she finally had enough, she questioned whether she ended the relationship properly.
On Reddit, a woman told her story.
We have been engaged for three years, and I have been with my fiancé for seven years. We have now attempted four times to have a “save the date,” but each time his mother persuades him to reschedule. “Well, don’t you think you have bigger things to worry about?” is the standard response.
Whether it is our financial situation (this was her justification after we lent HER $8k to keep her house afloat, but we have plenty of money because my partner is an RN and I am a lawyer), or our living situation (we are renting and she believes we should buy first because we “aren’t stable”). Something is always there.
We had arranged to get together as a family in my mother’s backyard. Her three acres, complete with a lovely pond, are ideal. We are also having a potluck. Very inexpensive wedding, then. Furthermore, we only need to give a month or two’s notice because everyone we know lives within an hour of the location.
Having said all of this, his mother has no motive to attempt to convince us otherwise. Her most recent claim, however, is that since our daughter is only 7 months old, we “need” to wait until she is “at least 3” before allowing her to be our flower girl.
After talking in December, my spouse and I made the decision to tie the knot in August. He responded that he wouldn’t and that he was sick of hearing from his mother when I told him not to let her dictate what he did. Alright, that makes sense. However, I was discussing with my mother last weekend about the dress I wanted her to wear as the Matron of Honor when both of their mothers came for dinner.
When my spouse’s mother inquired about when we intended to inform her that we had chosen a date, he replied, “When we told everyone else.” She simply said, “Oh,” became silent, and left after perhaps twenty minutes. Soon afterward, he left to go help her with her cable box at her house since he had already planned to go there after dinner while I spent some time with my mom.
He went to bed after being very quiet and claiming to be just tired. However, he uttered, without warning, last night, “My mom kind of has a point…maybe we should wait until we buy a house, so our living situation is a bit more stable.” She is correct when she says that we ought to be concerned about it.
I was so enraged that I just became silent and said nothing. However, he persisted in saying things like, “It’ll only be a couple of years, five at most.” I told him I was no longer interested as I simply removed my ring and gave it to him. I refused to allow him to put the ring back on my finger, even though he started objecting right away.
I told him that I was done with him and that he should go back home with his mother because I knew that the moment we bought a house, he would come up with some other excuse. I was also really turned off by the idea of marrying him at this point because I have no business being with a man who lacks morality and would put our lives on hold for a woman who would still rather scrub his back in the shower (yes, I was mean about it).
At this point, he’s crying, and I’m acting really cool, possibly because I’m over it. I told him that I wanted him to go, or I could go. But there were no other choices. He eventually left, crying the whole way. Yes, I do feel horrible. I’m devastated. To me, he is everything.
But I’m at my limit now. His mother has been bombarding me with texts, arguing her point, so I responded with, “No, it’s okay, you won.” You can now spend full-time time with your baby boy again. and put her phone number on hold. My pals believe that I’m exaggerating things a lot.
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