Being open and honest with each other is an important part of a healthy relationship. If this foundation isn’t strong enough at the beginning of a marriage, it will fail. And difficult truths should always be told, no matter how hard they are. A woman who was about to get married recently heard her soon-to-be husband telling his best friend something very sad. What she heard shattered her worldview, which is why she wrote an online letter to get help and advice.

“Hi,

David (33M), my soon-to-be husband, and I met through a friend four years ago. Right from the start, I told him I wanted to get married, but he wasn’t as excited. Even so, our relationship kept going.

Carla, my best friend, just got married. I was the bridesmaid who caught the bouquet, which made it seem like I might be the next one to get married. Later that night, when I got home from the wedding party, I joked to David that I’ve been in a serious relationship for four years without being married, while Carla’s relationship started as a one-night stand and ended in marriage within a year. David casually brushed off the subject. I chose to let it go because I didn’t want to seem pushy, but I couldn’t get rid of the unease I felt about it. After another month, David completely shocked me by asking me to marry him. I was shocked to the core. Since David didn’t seem interested the last time I brought it up, his offer caught me off guard.

Since then, I’ve been getting excited about planning our wedding, but I feel like I’m the only one who is. David always seems to avoid or change the subject when I talk about wedding plans. I want us both to be excited about our wedding day, not just me.

Then, his best friend came over to our house last night for game night. I told them I had to go to bed and left them alone. After an hour, I had to go to the bathroom, and that’s when I heard my fiancé and the friend talking. The second one was shocked when my fiancé proposed to me, saying he had never thought he was the type to get married. What hurt me the most was my fiancé’s answer to him in a whisper: “I only asked her to marry me because I felt bad for how badly she wanted it. Now I’m stuck because I promised, even though I’m not at all sure.”

Now I’m not sure if I should tell him that I heard his secret conversation. Please help me understand this better by giving me your advice.

Sincerely,
Betty”

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