My Best Friend Accidentally Sent Me A Message And I Want The Earth To Swallow Me

I and my best friend have been friends since high school. Now, we are a part of the same college friend group. On Friday night we were out. Everyone was hanging out together like we typically do on the weekends. We went back to her house. Everything was normal.

I wasn’t exactly planning to stay the night, but she pleaded with me and said we could get breakfast in the morning if I stayed. I obliged, and she told me she was going to sleep alone in her room so that she could call her long-distance boyfriend. So, after telling each other “I love you, goodnight” and giving hugs, I went to sleep in the guest room.

About 20 minutes later I received a text from her that read “She’s staying in the guest room so I don’t want to trash-talk her too loudly.” I responded with a simple “Huh?” and received another, longer text complaining about how she just can’t figure out a “respectful” way to get rid of me.
It was probably around 2:45 AM at this point, but I packed up all of my things and snuck out the back door. The next morning she sent me a voice memo apologizing and saying that she was drunk and meant to text her boyfriend but “I’m just not that fun anymore” and we’ve “grown apart.”

My heart is broken. It feels wrong to bring it up to anyone else in our group of friends, so I’ve spent the last few days grieving, and trying to remind myself that I’m only 20 and can still bounce back and find new friends. Unfortunately, my 21st birthday is in a few weeks and now, I fear I won’t have anyone to spend it with.

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