My husband passed away suddenly when our daughter was 6. A year later, I discovered his records from when he was in a psychiatric hospital for depression.
In the notes, I found a disturbing detail: the therapist mentioned that my husband never referred to our daughter by name, but only as “the child.” The notes also mentioned that my husband confessed to the therapist that he wouldn’t mind if I divorced him and took full custody.
It’s been 10 years, and I’ve never discussed this with my daughter, nor do I intend to.