It’s hard to save a marriage after an affair, and it’s even harder if your partner has a child with someone else. You have to make hard decisions that will affect your whole life. On Reddit, someone asked what other people thought about her situation, where she refused to have any contact with her husband’s child from an affair.
We found out that my husband was being sued for child support in 2021, after being married for 9 years. This turned out to be true because he had an affair soon after we got married, which almost ended our relationship. But we both went to counseling and agreed on some terms that would allow me to stay in the marriage.
One of the conditions was that my husband had to get a second job to pay his child support without affecting our family budget. I also made it clear that I had no plans to have any kind of relationship with the child that came from his affair. Recently, my husband told me about some “baby mamma drama.” He has been getting to know his child over the past few years.
It turns out that the woman he was seeing is planning to turn herself in in May so she can spend eight months in jail. At this point, my husband felt he had to take custody of the child to keep them from going to live with their grandparents on the other coast. The child is attached to where they are now and doesn’t want to move schools or be far away from their friends, dad, and mom (who will be in jail nearby).
When I heard this news, I left the house and came back with an apartment guide for our area to show how I felt about it. When my husband asked if I was serious, I told him that my feelings had not changed since three years ago. Even though he said that the situation was unique, I told him again that I didn’t want to care for his child and offered a friendly divorce if he chose to take custody.
It was clear that I would not change my mind and would not be responsible for someone else’s child.
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